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J’s laptop broke, she saw one online and bought it. It’s an Advent 9112 running Vista.
Arrives this morning and I start to set it up. Find MAC address, add to router and then try try and try to get it to connect. Eventually get the message:

“The capability of your network adapter does not match the requirements of the network.”

Google it, can’t see where to change the details needed. Ring “the tech guys” who demand a receipt number. I say I don’t have one, that it was bought online/over the phone, that J is out and I’d like it fixed and running for when she gets back. They tell me they cannot talk to me, to phone another number.
I ring the other number, get bounced from person to person. Eventually get someone who says they can find the receipt number but as J bought it she won’t tell me. I say I’ll return it. She says I can so long as I have not switched it on - and how would I know it didn’t work unless I had I say? To which she says that she cannot help and to ring the tech guys. I explain again but more slowly. She won’t budge - it’s not a fault, it’s software and they are not obliged to cover it. Fine - I told her I will find a “fault” and then I’m covered. She told me that the tech guys will need to confirm it - fine by me. I’ll damn well kill the machine if I have to because this is fucking stupid.

Oh, and Vista? No fucking chance, ever. “It’s wrong” with no clue as to why is stupid. Screw the money I’ll buy her a macbook.

And now I’m going to google how to kill a laptop without having to drop it.

Update: J has secured the machine’s return and a refund. As it was she who rang and bought it, and as she had the name of the person, the time she phoned and every detail she was told they had to agree it was not what they had said and so the refund was appropriate. And I’m still getting her a macbook.